As an arts reporter living in Deep Ellum, Tanya Falgoust is accepted as part of the underground arts district, but living among free thinkers and musicians doesn’t make her one of them. Then she meets Cassia, a performance artist with the power to both deepen her experience and strip the art community from her.
Sensual, rebellious Cassia struts onto the stage and into Tanya’s bed. No one knows who she is, but her beauty and talents as an actress and dancer captivates the local theater scene. Tanya is mesmerized by Cassia, and they quickly form a relationship. A close friend warns Tanya about Cassia, but she brushes him off. But when Cassia refuses to divulge anything about herself, where she lives, or even her real name, Tanya starts to realize her friend was right. And the secrets her lover’s hiding are deeper and more damaging than Tanya could imagine. As their relationship becomes more volatile, hurting others around them, Tanya must break from her desire for the performance artist before she loses the connections to the musicians who have accepted her into their community.
CASSIA bridges literary and commercial and is complete at 77,000 words.
I regularly attend DFW Writers’ Conference, and my debut novel, HOUSE OF THISTLES, was published by WeBook in November 2013.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Kristin Lanette Harris (AKA Lanette Kauten)
This query hints at some great setting and character work with deep emotional stakes! I think my big suggestion is to try to pull even more of that into the query by sharpening the focus on the world you're letting us see. Here's what I mean:
ReplyDeleteCan you bring the voice of the novel into the query? I remember you posted some cool excerpts on Twitter, and they seemed to have a great voice. I personally am terrible at getting novel voice into my queries, but if you can, I think that'd be a plus.
Since the arts community seems central to the stakes, can you give us maybe a detail or two (or a word or phrase) to help really crystallize that setting in our minds, so we can get a sense of how cool it is and what Tanya would be losing?
You hint at Cassia being trouble and talk about the secrets she's hiding, but right now the query is pretty vague about in what way she's bad news. Without giving too many spoilers, can you give us some idea at least of the flavor of trouble she represents? Or even better, give us a couple intriguing specifics?
FInally, I bet you can find a phrase that hits harder and more viscerally to describe the stakes at the close than "loses the connections to the musicians who have accepted her into their community." That's a little dry.
I hope that helps!
Arg! Voice! You're not the first person who has loved the voice in the novel and said the query doesn't have it. But I can work on your other suggestions. Thank you.
DeleteI know! I totally can NOT manage to get novel voice into my query, either. I wind up using a more businessy "query voice" no matter how hard I try. So I feel bad telling you to try to do it! If you figure out how, let me know.
DeleteHi Lanette,
ReplyDeleteI like the sound of the emotional story here - love with a hint at some kind of upheaval to come. Cassia definitely sounds like danger.
I may be living under a rock but I don't know what Deep Ellum is. Since this isn't a fantasy novel, I assume it's a real place. (Hey I googled and round there's a Deep Ellum in Boston and in Dallas!) Maybe change it to "the arts community of Deep Ellum, (Texas?).
And maybe it's clear in the book, but it seems odd that a performer could make a name for herself without having any kind of background that anyone could trace. Unless she's a street performer, but you say "theater scene" so I assume she's got a job, which makes me think she would have some paper work on her. Maybe rather than "No one" knows who she is, it could be less categorical. "None of Tanya's associates/friends/colleagues" something like that.
Okay - those were nitpicky comments. Overall I think what Melissa pointed out is good. Getting voice into a query is like getting delicious into a brussel sprout. I don't know how people do it. Maybe try writing this without thinking of it as a query but maybe as if you were emailing your best friend to tell her what your story is about. That way maybe you'd relax and let loose your language?
Good luck on this. If you want to post a revision, just email it to me and I'll re-post it with "Revised" in the title.
I LIKE the secrets here! Nice job with that. I just want a little more detail about who Cassia will hurt and how (or the relationship between the two), as well as the connections to the musicians. How will staying with Cassia cause that? You're really close here. I'm echoing Melissa up there with the "connections" line, also. But this totally intrigues! Don't worry about that, it's great. Just some deets to clarify. Don't bang your head over voice, I can't get that either. Some peeps even manage it in a pitch. Lucky bastards.
ReplyDelete