Bred to strike hard and fast, Lysander belongs to an elite guild of assassins known as The Shadows. When their latest mission goes awry, he’s betrayed by his own and left for dead. From the depths of oblivion, Lysander awakens to an angel caressing him in the most intimate of places…and to find he’s a bedridden cripple. With the police hunting The Shadows, he’s trapped with no choice but to claim he has no recollection of who he is.
Spirited country miss Lady Olivia Woodward is mortified when she’s caught stroking him down there. In her defense, she was bathing him. It’s the least she could do after he took a bullet meant for her father. As death threats against her father escalate, Olivia nurses the enigmatic hero back to health. But he defies all rules of convalescence. He’s arrogant. Exasperating. Infuriating. And gorgeous as sin. Attraction sizzles as tempers fly, clashes of ire caving to torrid, delirious pleasure.
He’s no hero. Lysander knows every kiss is stolen, every touch forbidden. His past will resurface, and when it does, it will destroy Olivia’s trust...for he was sent to kill her father, not save him. As the police close in on unraveling his identity, The Shadows lurk in the darkness, reminding Lysander to finish his task. But they’re not the only ones after Olivia’s father. Another sinister force is at play, for the death threats are not The Shadows’ work. With the clock ticking down, Lysander is torn. Torn between duty to his brethren and risking everything for the only woman he’s ever loved.
Told in alternating POVs between Lysander and Olivia, ENSNARED BY YOU is a historical romance set in Victorian England, complete at 100,000 words.
I like multiple POVs, and I suspect that this one is quite interesting, given the characters. I wonder if you could play up how different they are - we see a lot about Lysander but very little about Olivia except that her father is a murder target. Maybe build up why "every kiss is stolen." Is Lysander in prison when he is left for dead, and is the prison in Olivia's father's estate?
ReplyDeleteI love the "angel caressing him" against the "she was bathing him."
This is my new thing with POV books - have you tried swapping the first and second paragraph? I wonder if it might be more instantly intriguing to see Olivia mortified and THEN see Lysander's reaction to it. I don't know - I just did this with my own query and it made me rework phrases in a new way that I think I might keep even if I flip it back. Reasons I say this - Lysander's paragraph have elements in it that make me think "fantasy" (The Shadows, capital The capital Shadows), but "police" makes me think not fantasy but more recent than historical and Lysander makes me think some kind of mythology retelling. But Olivia's paragraph is more straight-forward. It's just an idea - and would require more revisions to get the antecedents worked out.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I would make sure to do either way is contextual the time we're in. You mentioned elsewhere that it's Victorian era, but I know nothing of that, so I would have benefitted from an explicit time positioning.
This is really good - not meaning to sound like it's not, but I'm spreading the "hey why don't you just turn it inside out" epiphany all about...
Good luck!
I like this revision and the changes you've made. My only comment, is there anyway to tell the reader from the beginning of your query as to the time frame? Even if it's just the year. As in:
ReplyDelete"1855. Bred to strike hard and fast..."